This hadith states that the wife should obey her husband, but to what extent?! Obviously,
she cannot disobey her husband in anything that is haram.! Not only that, but the
obedience of the wife is in those duties listed above, viz. …with regard to cohabitation,
domestic matters, guarding his property, and not allowing others to violate her/his dignity
or their belongings.
In summary, there is the following hadith from the Prophet on the rights of a wife.! A
person asked the Messenger of Allah, “What right does the wife of one among us have
over him?”! His answer was, “It is that you shall give her food, you shall not slap her on
the face, nor revile her, nor leave her alone except within the house” (Ahmad, Abu
Da’ud, Ibn Majah).! This implies provision, residence, respect and security.
Appreciation
Some husbands get upset when their wives refuse to do this or that around the house.!
This has subjected many wives to physical mistreatment.! But the following incident
clearly shows that it is not the duty of the wife to tend after the house, and therefore, it
can in no way justify any sort of retort on the part of the husband.! In fact, the following
quote would make it seem that many women nowadays should be the one’s complaining
as they are forced to do work that they are not truly totally responsible for:
It is reported that a man once came to ‘Umar, the second Caliph, with the intention of
bringing to his notice certain complaints he had against his wife.! When he reached the
door of ‘Umar’s house, he heard the Caliph’s wife railing against him.! Hearing this he
went back as he though that the Caliph himself was in the same predicament and could
therefore hardly be expected to set matters right for him.! ‘Umar coming out of his house,
saw the person going back.! So he called him back and inquired as to the purpose, which
had brought him to his house.! He said that he had come to him with some complaints
against his wife, but turned back on finding that the Caliph himself was subject to the
same treatment from his wife.! ‘Umar said to him that he patiently bore the excess of his
wife because she had certain rights over him.! “Is it not true that she cooks my food,
washes my clothes and suckles my children, thus relieving me of the necessity of
employing a cook, a washerman and a nurse, although she is not in the slightest degree
responsible for this?! Not only that, I enjoy peace of mind on account of her and I am
protected from committing the sin of adultery.! In view of these advantages, I put up with
her excesses.! You should also do the same.
Having clarified some of the misconceptions, countered some distortions, we
acknowledge, of course, that! not all men or women are following the teachings of the
Qur’an in their relationships.! Rather than looking at the verse holistically, they only
focus on it with a bias to their advantage and abuse it.! Men exploit and women rebel.!
Where men have done so, and women have remained ignorant, injustices have taken
place even to the point of physical abuse.! Some women, in their ignorance on the issue,
have taken this as their Islamic plight.! So, for their own benefit, women need to acquire