Prenatal Information Sheet: Introduction v
The Birth of a Mother
In this book, you are asked questions focused on how you feel about your
pregnancy and your relationship with your mother, or the primary person who
raised you, and your partner. There is space provided to record your thoughts. As
you go through your pregnancy and adapt to being the mother of a new baby,
it is important that you realize you are being “born” or reborn into your role as
a mother to this baby. Even if this is not your first baby, the transition to being
a mother is a process that involves feelings, behaviors, attitudes, and character
developed from life experiences and expectations.
While responses to being a mother may come from life experiences, maternal
attitudes and behaviors change in relation to the age, condition, and situation of
one’s child. Each mother-child relationship, each pregnancy, each delivery, and
each childbirth experience are different for each woman. This is true even if you
already have children. Each pregnancy, labor, and delivery is unique.
Supportive sharing from significant persons, especially your family, balances the
process of becoming a mother. The support you receive from your mother, or other
key support person, and your partner assists you in the changes you go through
to become a mother. For you and your partner, mutual sharing provides the best
foundation for adapting to your roles as new parents. The ability to see yourself
as a mother and expand on the idea that the new child will impact your dreams
and fantasies is a building process that occurs throughout pregnancy. It happens
best with the support and help of your partner. Some of the questions raised in this
book are to help include your partner in this important process.
The ability to imagine and think about being a mother depends on your life
experiences. Good “mothering” role models, whether your own mother or another
loving person you respect, will help you be confident and identify with being a
mother. Many women feel a tremendous sense of relief in having a female friend
or mentor with whom they can share feelings about their pregnancies. Regardless
of the relationship you have with your partner, you may feel unable to express
certain feelings or fears with him or her. This is normal. Women often say that
they recognize their husband or partner “kind of understands”, but worry about
discussing their fears, thoughts, hopes and dreams. Sometimes it is helpful to have
a friend other than your partner to discuss your hopes, dreams and fears with.
Keep in mind that it is natural to have doubts and conflicts about this immense
role change. This usually happens every time you have a baby. Becoming a
mother affects your sense of self. If you are expecting your first child, you are truly
between roles. Often there is fear of the impact the baby will have on marriage,
family, and career. Generally, a vision of your image as a mother becomes
clearer as pregnancy continues. The questions throughout this book are to help
you define your idea of motherhood. Being able to picture or express your idea
of motherhood takes place by rehearsing or imagining yourself in the role of a
mother. It is normal to dream of yourself as a mother.