The dialog goes:
Anderson: “I tell you what. If I—when I prove that he’s not Father Christmas, can we just forget
all of this and have a nice day together, hmm?”
Tom: “Okay.”
At the prison, Santa is brought into the visiting room wearing denim clothes.
Santa: “Thank you for coming. This place is horrible.”
Anderson: “Yeah, well, it’s not a holiday camp, Nick.”
Santa: “You know my name.”
Anderson: “I worked it out.”
Santa: “How?”
Anderson: “Well, I thought of Saint Nicholas. Then I abbreviated it to Saint Nick, and then I took
away the ‘Saint.’”
Santa: [laugh] “That’s exactly how I came to it.”
Anderson: [sarcastically] “Oh, wow, what do you know?”
Santa: “I tried other more elaborate names, but that one seemed to stick.”
Tom: “We’ve come to rescue you.”
Santa: “Thank goodness.”
Anderson: “Yeah, we thought we’d free your reindeer, fly in, and pick you up.”
Santa: “No, that wouldn’t work because the reindeer can’t actually fly. I mean, not by
themselves—. Well, it’s complicated. But if you find the sleigh—I mean, provided it’s not broken—then
you might be able to.”
Anderson: “Are you on medication?” [Santa gives a strange look] “Or worse, are you not on
medication?”
Santa: “Ho, ho, ho. You still don’t believe I’m Santa.”
Anderson: “Do you want to know why? Because I’m thirty.”
Santa: “But once you were seven.”
Anderson: “Yeah, and I saw a shooting star. Tell me something I don’t know.”
Santa: “It was an exceptionally cold Christmas night. Your parents were drunk, they’d been
rowing.”
Anderson: “My parents got divorced.”
Santa: “This was their last Christmas together. You ran out into the back garden. You were crying.
You heard a noise in the skies above you. The sound of bells, sleigh bells. And that’s when you saw me.
You knew it wasn’t a shooting star. That’s just what your mother told you. But you had proof. You found a
gift in the garden, a gift that I had left for you. What was it? Do you remember?”
Anderson: “Why don’t you tell me?”
Santa: “It was the most popular gift of that year. A Rubik’s Cube. You still have it, don’t you? Not
because of me, oh no. No, you kept it because that was the last family Christmas you ever had.”
Anderson: [Seeming emotional] “How’d you know that?”
Tom: “Because he’s Santa.”
Santa: “Deep in your heart, you know who I am.”
Anderson: “Deep in my heart, you’re a nut bag.”
Santa: [chuckles] “The reindeer have been moved to a private area in Richmond Park. Go there,
seek out Dasher. He knows what to do.”
Tom: “Dasher speaks?”
Santa: “He communicates.”
Anderson: “Right, that’s it. I’ve had enough of this. We haven’t seen each other in a very long
time.”
Santa: “And I wouldn’t ask this if it wasn’t the most important job in the world.”
Anderson: “Come on, we’re going.”
Tom: “We had a deal.”